The Stuff (1985)

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Tagline: Are you eating it…or is it eating you?

Director: Larry Cohen

Writer: Larry Cohen

Starring: Michael Moriarty, Andrea Marcovicci, Garrett Morris, Paul Sorvino, Scott Bloom, Danny Aiello, Partick O’Neal, James Dixon, Alexander Scourby, Russell Nype, Colette Blonigan, Robert Frank Telfer, Brian Bloom, Harry Bellaver, Beth Tegarden, 

15 | 87 mins | Horror

Budget: $1,700,000 (estimated)


Review

We are all guilty of lusting after stuff we don’t need, of craving stuff we must have.

In a consumer society fuelled by big business, we sometimes depend on that stuff to lend us purpose, to blind us from the often thankless realities of our everyday existence. As modern citizens we are slaves to consumer products. We are addicted to fast food, subsisting on a diet of additives and preservatives. We are worshippers of the brand name.

Almost two decades into the 21st century, it has perhaps become a trite adage that the stuff we consume begins to consume us. In writer/director Larry Cohen’s world, that adage develops into something rather more literal, and infinitely more fun.

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Here comes the choo-choo train!

After stumbling upon a mysterious white mush erupting from the earth, a petroleum refinery worker thinks nothing of popping it in his mouth and is immediately hooked. Soon enough this unexplained gook is everywhere – a creamy, delicious desert which is practically calorie-free and comes pre-packaged in a family-friendly pot. For the plainclothes suburbanites of modern America, The Stuff is a dream come true.

Unfortunately for Jason (Bloom) that dream quickly becomes a nightmare as he watches his family succumb to The Stuff’s addictive qualities. Becoming a real-life food commercial, his parents aggressively pursue his allegiance, turning violent and vengeful when he fails to cooperate. Jason is still not convinced however, particularly when he opens the fridge to see The Stuff moving of its own accord, and after freaking out in a supermarket of wall-to-wall Stuff, he flees his home as the wholesome nuclear family gets set for meltdown.

The Stuff 1985

Try some, son!

Jason is not the only one suspicious of the mysterious gunk sweeping the nation. Corporate bigwigs are beginning to feel the financial burn, and after failing to reach those bribeable folk at the Food and Drug Administration they turn to industrial spy Moe Rutherford, a cynical southern dandy who will stoop to pretty much anything if the money is right. 

While investigating, Moe runs into ousted cookie king ‘Chocolate Chip Charlie’ (Morris) and the two of them are on the punitive path until stopped in their tracks by a band of zombie-brained protectors and forced to flee. A step up from the Nike products we willingly pay top dollar for in order to become walking billboards, The Stuff takes brand loyalty to a whole new level, creating not only advertisers and purveyors, but ruthless guardsmen who will sacrifice their lives for the continued prosperity of the product. No wonder those bigwigs were so hellbent on stealing the formula!

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And the winner is…Moe Rutherford by unanimous decision!

After entire families begin to go missing, Rutherford’s investigations lead him to a production site in Georgia where The Stuff has taken on a life of its own. After being attacked by a furtive batch hiding in his pillow, he realises that the product is more than just a benign organism. It is a parasitic entity that inhabits the body and mind before leaving its human carriage dead and empty (Pokemon Go, anyone?).

Recruiting the help of resplendent ad exec Nicole (Marcovicci) and Commie-bashing Colonel Spears (Sorvino), Moe takes to the airwaves in an attempt to recapture the minds of America, but even if successful, this is surely a case of winning the battle and not the war.



Best Kill

After agreeing to lend his voice to the Stuff-denouncing airwaves, supermarket celebrity ‘Chocolate Chip Charlie’ suddenly regurgitates a huge load of the sinister goop, which uses him to infiltrate the base of the resistance before reducing his head to a quivering pile of chunks. 

Most Absurd Moment

Having had his sleep interrupted by a batch of vengeful goo, Rutherford is left helpless as it clings to his face and attempts to suffocate him. But don’t fear, Moe! Girlfriend Nicole is at hand with a jar of oil and a match.

Okay, darling. Try to stay calm. This might burn a little.

Most Absurd Dialogue

Having been forced to eat shaving cream as a way to convince his wild-eyed family of his allegiance to the product, Jason has a little accident in the back of Rutherford’s car.

Jason: Excuse me, sir. I kinda just threw up in your car.

Rutherford: I know!

Jason: I’m sorry. I mean, I just ate shaving cream.

Rutherford: It’s alright. Everybody eats shaving cream once in a while.


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rtape rtape rtape rtape rtape

On the surface of things you would be hard-pressed to label The Stuff a horror movie, but the real fear lies in the grotesquely-veiled realities of the material. Beneath the hokey effects and Commie-fearing B-movie nods, this is a razor-sharp satire on the perils of consumerism – the kind that has never been more relevant – and by the end of the movie I wasn’t so much concerned with exploding heads or polluted torsos, I was instead troubled by a single question: if capitalist strongholds such as Walmart could get away with selling The Stuff, would they?

The answer is yes, they probably would.

Cedric Smarts


 

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