VHS Revival unravels love’s mysteries through the skewed lens of Hollywood.
Navigating the world of modern romance can be quite confusing and frightening.
There is a plethora of advice out there from dating gurus, Oprah, Tinder, and your mother. What if I told you that everything you needed to know about love was just a streaming service away? Hard to believe, right? If you have several hours to kill and a bottle of your favorite beverage (I highly recommend Moscato or Scotch on the rocks) then watch Psycho, Disclosure, The Evil Dead or It Follows. Hell, Fatal Attraction is like a bible for avoiding Mr. or Mrs. Wrong.
If you don’t have the time to spend because you have a job or some other silly pursuit, don’t worry! I have done all the leg work so you don’t have to! So, sit back, grab a pen and a notebook, an iPad, a laptop or your phone and take notes. You may thank me later.
Love Hack #1
Remember when you found that cute guy or that hot girl on the latest hook up app? You partied like it was 1999, spent the weekend together and then Monday morning you did the walk of shame? Now, you just want to “ghost” this person but you are getting creepy texts with crying, angry Emojis saying, “If I cnt hv u, no 1 cn.” Yeah, this didn’t turn out so well for Michael Douglas or the rabbit in Fatal Attraction. Time to change your number and drop this loser for good!
Love Hack #2
Your boyfriend or girlfriend plans a romantic getaway to Jacksonville, Florida. At the last minute, your plans fall through and the best you can do is that cozy cabin in the woods. Uh, have you ever seen Evil Dead? Let’s just say you might not want to go for that moonlight stroll. Those trees are NOT friendly. Oh yeah, and that book on the desk that looks like the perfect vacation read? Avoid saying any passages aloud. Trust me on that one. As for the cellar? There is no wine down there so don’t even think about opening that door in the floor.
Love Hack #3
You have to work late with your super sexy supervisor. There is an obvious attraction between the two of you. No one is around and the conference room is empty. You might be tempted to get busy but let me remind you of the Michael Douglas (yes, him again) and Demi Moore movie, Disclosure. Demi got a bit friendly and one thing led to another. The next day she starts making his life a living hell. Do yourself a favor and just say, “No!”
Love Hack #4
Commitment isn’t your thing. You want to play the field and sample the merchandise. There is nothing wrong with that. However, if Mr. or Ms. Right of the Night happens to suddenly bolt after your fling with no explanations, you might want to have a look at It Follows. Suddenly feel like you’re being watched? You probably are. I would steer clear of swimming pools for a while.
Love Hack #5
This one is for the ladies. Your new man, let’s call him Norman, loves his mother. She is very important to him. He still lives with her. Of course, he has his own room! It is in the basement but that is so he can work on his taxidermy and not disturb her. Even though he is in his 30’s, there isn’t anything wrong with living at home. He is devoted to his mother. While I will agree loyalty to family is touching, he never invites you over to his place. Maybe it’s because Mother wouldn’t approve. However, he is more than willing to let you stay in Cabin 1 at his family’s roadside motel. Avoid the shower. Enough said.
See, this list is proof. You can learn anything from watching movies! Oh, and good luck with the love game!