Tis the Season (for Alcohol Not Love).

Love Actually Bill

VHS Revival challenges the sanctimonious hokum of the Christmas romcom.


Every holiday season, certain movies are shown.

For each Christmas Vacation viewing, you get a Love, Actually. Planes, Trains and Automobiles conjures up The Holiday with Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz. You can see where I am going with this, right?

Look, this is the most stressful time of the year. Relatives overstay their welcome coupled with a slew of office parties and secret Santas where you have to get gifts for people you don’t know and could not care less about. Then last-minute shopping, and mall crowds that make you feel like you want to jump out of a window. Yeah, festive times.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

It could be worse.

Personally, I don’t want to see rom-coms during my holiday down time. I am more worried about making sure everyone is happy and has the right gifts than who hooks up with who in the copy room at the office get together! Love, Actually is one of those flicks that I find super annoying. Every story is set against a charming Currier and Ives backdrop of falling pristine snow. You get the feeling that you are watching a Hallmark card come to life.

The best part about this movie is Bill Nighy as an over the hill rocker. He is so funny and breaks up the inane rompings of the impressive cast. In theory, this movie looks good on paper. Liam Neeson, the late, great Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, Colin Firth and Hugh Grant are all talented actors. However, why does Hollywood automatically assume that colder weather, Christmas lights and egg nog means everyone wants to fall in love?

Hugh Grant

Hugh decides where the Christmas tree will go.

By the end of the year, I just want a good cocktail. I want to sit back, relax and drain a few Patron Silver Martinis. I am not interested in having drama infiltrate my world because I have fallen head over heels in love with Dalton in accounting or Ash in the tech department. Do you suddenly decide when you wake up one morning “Today’s the day I am going to complicate my life even more by pining after some hunky guy or babelicious girl who doesn’t give me the time of day?” Couple that with holiday shopping, credit card bills and other sundry items and you have the recipe for disaster.

However, in Love, Actually and the Holiday, all the problems in the world take a backseat to the affairs of the heart. Things that are magically wrong get righted, and all is wonderful in the universe. This is a load of crap. I am not being cynical, just realistic. Look, what is it about Christmas carols, snow on the ground and cocoa that makes everyone lose their minds?

Love, Actually

Juliet contemplates pulling off Mark’s head.

In The Holiday, Cameron and Kate meet by chance and decide to switch lives. Well, not literally, but they stay at each other’s houses. As a result, Cameron falls head over heels in love with Jude Law, Kate’s brother, and Kate falls in love with songwriter, Jack Black. What are the chances of that happening in a seasonal timeshare situation? Zero to none. Oh, I just so happened to stay in this fabulous cottage in England when oops, I meet cute with David Tennant, and suddenly we are head over heels in love? Nope! That is NOT going to happen.

More than likely, if I were in that Air BNB situation, I would end up fending off the advances of a Benny Hill type. Good times. In that movie, everything was so quaint and romantic in the cottage too. For me, there would probably be a heating issue and I would be cold as hell the entire time. So, I will not be looking like I am getting ready for a photo shoot for the Burberry winter catalogue.

The Holiday Diaz

The Winter Collection.

During the holiday season, people seem jollier, except if they are shopping in a mall. The world looks brighter with the lights and the trees. As for me, I will just sit back and watch Christmas Vacation with my Patron Martini by my side.

Tis the season, after all!

Susan Leighton




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2 responses to “Tis the Season (for Alcohol Not Love).

  1. UGH Rom Coms’ barf – ya I like the raunchy comedies and I do watch Jim Carey the Grinch when I’m putting up the tree. This year I plan on finding Krampus, not sure why I haven’t seen it yet, but I really want to!

    Like

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