Soldier Boyz (1995)

When it comes to plot lines, you would be hard pressed to find one as improbable as that featured inĀ Soldier Boyz.

Not only are the film’s events about as detached from reality as The Naked Gun, its characters are just as trite and predictable, so hammy that you sometimes forget this is an action movie and not a straight up spoof. Even more amazing is the fact that Louis Morneau’s slice of puerile patriotism harbours delusions of social commentary, masquerading as a cultural melting pot as America’s gangland minorities team up to take on an even more foreign, and therefore evil race of people…

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American Ninja 2: The Confrontation (1987)

The American Ninja franchise is a true product of the VHS era.

Much like the No Retreat No Surrender series, they are movies of low production value which only seem to decrease in quality, but there is something about them that keeps us coming back for more. Production company The Cannon Group would exploit America’s fascination with martial arts to devastating financial effect. This had very little to do with the quality of action on show or the actors involved, owing much to the nationalistic stance of the latter stages of the Cold War as an inherently fascist cinema exploded in a barrage of invincible protagonists and patriotic exposition…

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American Ninja (1985)

Michael Dudikoff wasn’t much of a ninja. Come to think of it, he wasn’t much of an actor either. But for a brief period during the mid-1980’s he became a hero to kids the world over, and he owes it all to American Ninja.

For me, American Ninja is the defining movie of the oft memorable Cannon Group, who churned out ultra-violent schlock by the bucket load. This was cheap production, nonsensical storytelling, and some of the stiffest, most unmemorable acting of a generation, but there was something there; there had to be…

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