Blind Fury (1989)

Rutger Hauer is a very unique talent.

Not only did he dazzle with his famous ad-libbed monologue as the queerly sympathetic Roy Batty in Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner, he scared the living crap out of us as the psychotic John Ryder in The Hitcher. A few years later he starred in Blind Fury, the kind of tongue-in-cheek action extravaganza most associated with the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger, and he did a mighty fine job of it too, slipping into the role with the kind of consummate ease […]

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Happy Birthday to Me (1981)

Happy Birthday to Me is a unique entry in an infamously uninventive sub-genre.

Then Canada’s highest grossing movie to date, many of its positives are purposeful, others not so much, but even its patchy moments are unique in their own right, making this one of the superior efforts in the slasher cannon. Made before the genre slipped into the kind of post-certificate self-parody that has no use for genuine acting, the movie stars Little House in the Prairie’s Melissa Sue Anderson, her angelic image proving quite the juxtapose, while legendary […]

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No Hold Barred (1987)

Make no mistake about it, No Holds Barred is an abomination of a movie.

In cinematic terms, it is bereft of even the smallest redemptive quality. It is steaming quagmire of puerile stereotypes, incredulously dire acting and a narrative that even an infant would get tired of past the almost ceaseless flatulence-based jokes that attempt to pass for comedy. Woeful leading man? Check. Imbecilic antagonist? Check. Belching waitress, cross-eyed, tobacco chewing hicks, a henchman who shits in his pants and squeals ‘dookie’ like a mentally challenged infant? Check, check and double check […]

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The Immortalizer (1989)

Move over, Dr Frankenstein, there’s a new re-animator in town.

His name is Dr Devine, and in his business a mishmash of body parts will not suffice. Everybody has dreamed of eternal youth, but for those who are uninterested in being turned into a plastic zombie, our crazed innovator has dreamed up a mind-boggling alternative – providing you are hideously wealthy and bereft of all human emotion […]

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