Tag Archives: Features

starwars

Franchise Your Way

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1992 was the year of my greatest existential crisis.

This crisis was not brought about by such trivial concerns as mortality, the nature of evil, or humanity’s place in the universe. No, the source of my angst was far more pressing. It was Alien 3.

Let me elaborate. James Cameron’s Aliens was, and still is, my favorite movie. The film is very important to me for both personal and artistic reasons. The ending left me feeling as warm and hopeful as little Newt tucked into her hypersleep cocoon. After such a satisfying conclusion, how could I resist another chance to see Ripley […]

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The Good, the Bad, and the So Bad it’s Good

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If the grind-house laid their claim back in the 70s, Cannon Films had theirs in the mid-80s with the VHS era.

Not so much a film company at that point, but rather a genre unto themselves. Aerobic-instructor ninjas, Vietnamese prison camps, inner-city gangs, vigilantes, breakdance battles, arm wrestling, excessive rape, Chuck Norris, 357 Magnums,and Superman questing for peace, these are just a few of the things that come to mind when the name Cannon Films pops up. They spit out classics faster than the bullets from a Charles Bronson hand cannon […]

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Mola Ram

A Mixed Bag of On-Screen Baddies

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Things to play with. That’s all we are to some.

Using our own planet for his own personal amusement, the Merciless Ming rained hellfire (literally) on the earth by taking his time to torture us to death with really really bad weather—instead of just blowing us up straight away Darth Vader-style. That’s just too easy for a man who has a thing for the ball worms. Ming, being the “man” that he is, gives us a convenient countdown to total destruction […]

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The Thing Xeno

Character Battles – Xenomorph vs The Thing

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It is a wholly ridiculous concept, but who hasn’t pondered a hypothetical battle between two of their favourite movie stars, particularly when they possess similar personalities and attributes. We have already had Freddy vs Jason and Alien vs Predator, and while those movies sucked beyond comprehension, it didn’t stop us from flocking to the movies in our legions.

Part of the reason why we fail to accept these crossover extravaganzas is that they answer questions that don’t need answering […]

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Riggs and McClane Collage

Character Battles – Martin Riggs vs John McClane

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It is a wholly ridiculous concept, but who hasn’t pondered a hypothetical battle between two of their favourite movie stars, particularly when they possess similar personalities and attributes. We have already had Freddy vs Jason and Alien vs Predator, and while those movies sucked beyond comprehension, it didn’t stop us from flocking to the movies in our legions.

Part of the reason why we fail to accept these crossover extravaganzas is that they answer questions that don’t need answering […]

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The-Evil-Dead-Basement-Dweller

Let’s Make Bad Decisions or How to Not Plan a Vacation- The Hollywood Edition

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I realize this title is pretty verbose but I liked the sound of it so I will apologize beforehand. Now that I have gotten that out of the way, it’s almost the end of summer. However, there is still time to plan that critical vacay.

Let’s face it. You are overworked, underpaid and probably needing to slip away to some tropical paradise with cabana girls and boys sipping some sort of rum concoction or a nice, cool, refreshing Mojito […]

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Road to Ruin – Tony Montana’s 5 Most Fateful Mistakes

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From political refugee to Miami kingpin, for a brief period the world was truly his, but where exactly did it go wrong for the man who wanted it all? The tenacious Montana was straight off the banana boat, but he didn’t let that stop him. All he had in this world was his word and his balls, and he didn’t break them for no one.

It was this kind of straight-shooting  attitude that allowed Montana to quickly climb the ranks […]

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The Shining Dull Boy

How to Become a Successful Writer – Hollywood Style

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I decided I wanted to be a writer in the third grade when I created my first short story, Timmy the Turtle. Honestly, I didn’t believe I had a future, but my English teacher fell in love with it and hung it on the bulletin board. To a young schoolgirl, that was like having a New York Times best seller!

You can learn the craft of writing from reading books by people who are self-publishing gurus, or you can join numerous writers’ support groups, if you are in to that sort of thing […]

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American Ninja Joe

5 Reasons why Dudikoff’s American Ninja is a Total Badass.

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In the mid-1980’s, Michael Dudikoff shot to fame as Cannon’s most unlikely stealth assassin.

For many martial arts fans, this was somewhat baffling. Not only did he lack basic martial arts training, he looked more like a teenage pin-up than a warrior trained in the Orient’s deadliest art form, and compared to co-star Steve James, his physique was somewhat wimpy, making him the antithesis of pumped-up 80s action stars like Schwarzenegger and Stallone […]

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