Eliminators (1986)

For the most part, Eliminators is like Star Wars on an A-Team budget, but the comparisons don’t stop there.

Produced by low budget sci-fi maestro Charles Band, the movie is a savvy exercise in cultural marketing which taps into a plethora of 80s hits and features the kind of characters which probably would have resulted in a successful toy range were its financial aspirations just a tad higher . . .

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The Curse (1987)

It never quite happened for Will Wheaton, did it?

After shooting to fame in the early 80s with cult movies The Last Starfighter (1984) and Stand by Me (1985), the sky certainly seemed to be the limit for the gangly little cherub who will forever be known as Gordy Lachance, but in spite of a decent run as Wesley Crusher in cult series Star Trek: The Next Generation, his career would prove spotty at best…

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Uninvited (1988)

In the history of cinema, Creature Features are as old as time.

Looking back, we’ve had some pretty intimidating screen monsters throughout the years, icons such as Godzilla and King Kong, the kind of monumental beasts who savaged entire cities, and who even showed themselves capable of emotional depth, resulting in some of film’s most interesting and influential instances of catharsis…

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Maniac Cop (1988)

When we talk about cinema’s most underrated monsters, Matt Cordell should be somewhere near the top the list.

Widely known as Maniac Cop, Robert Z’Dar’s Cordell is a brute of a killer, a zombified variation of Friday the 13th’s Jason Voorhees, with the same superhuman strength and nondiscriminatory appetite for murder. Directed by exploitation junkie William Lustig (Maniac) and written by none other than the sharply satirical Roger Corman (The Stuff), the movie would prove a financial failure at a time when slasher movies had become largely generic and commercially pass√©…

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Savage Streets (1984)

By the early 1980’s Linda Blair’s career had kind of hit the skids.

A former child model who would shoot to fame in William Friedkin’s horror classic The Exorcist, her sweet-faced innocence had long since faded, replaced instead by wanton drug abuse, high profile arrests, and a brief fling with womanising, crack tooting funkster, Rick James. She even posed for a raunchy spread in pornographic magazine Oui. Her days of wooing the mainstream with her cherub charms were well and truly behind her . . .

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Breeders (1986)

Breeders is like one of those old monster movies with a giant erection.

Another in a long line of exploitation flicks given the bluray treatment, it is the story of a giant fly who sets about raping a cast of airheaded delectables with the intention of expanding its species. Able to take the form of any human it comes into contact with, it seeks out virgin victims and impregnates them with a black, gooey substance, while using acid to burn them for reasons which are never quite explained…

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Pieces (1982)

B-movie slashers – once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all, right?

If you’re judging them in terms of originality, then yes, they are all very much the same – particularly those from the early part of the 1980s before censorship hysteria shackled the industry. In regards to technique, they are invariably cheap rip-offs of John Carpenter’s genre-defining Halloween, movies in which a masked killer stalks promiscuous teens through a series of heavily contrived set-pieces, while a perverted revelation draws ever nearer…

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Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)

I have to be honest; this is not what I was expecting at all.

On the surface it is everything you would imagine it to be. It is a movie about chainsaw wielding nutjobs masquerading as barfly hookers. It is grainy filters and sordid, neon-lit streets, a visual scattergun that would leave the likes of Tarantino creaming themselves as buckets of blood and viscera splash against sopping pairs of heaving bosoms. It is B-movie acting, porn star extras, and enough sleaze to leave you slick with delight…

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